THIS VEHICLE RUNS ON 10% GASOLINE AND 90% CORPORATE TRAUMA

$7.00

Perfect for your mobile housing unit/commuter vehicle/last remaining asset. Show off your resort town PTSD with this brutally honest declaration of your mountain town employment status.

FEATURES:

  • Trauma-resistant vinyl

  • All-weather adhesive (like your coping mechanisms)

  • Professional finish (unlike your work/life balance)

  • Guaranteed to last longer than your ski town mental health

IDEAL FOR:

  • Your Subaru/home

  • The van you're "living in by choice"

  • The staff parking lot you now call "neighborhood"

  • That vehicle you drive 2 hours to work in

  • Your emotional support Toyota

Size: 5" x 3" (larger than your remaining dignity)

PAIRS WELL WITH:

  • Your collection of old resort name tags

  • That distance calculator to the nearest affordable housing

  • Your "resort town bingo" card of trauma

  • The multiple job schedules in your glovebox

  • Your "fun powder day calculator" (after gas costs)

WARNING: Side effects include:

  • Knowing nods from service industry workers

  • Spontaneous therapy sessions in lift lines

  • Unexpected bonding with other resort employees

  • Uncomfortable laughter from HR

  • Trust fund kids asking if your car really runs on trauma

Note: Sticker price does not include mountain town markup or emotional damage fees

Quantity:
Add To Cart

Perfect for your mobile housing unit/commuter vehicle/last remaining asset. Show off your resort town PTSD with this brutally honest declaration of your mountain town employment status.

FEATURES:

  • Trauma-resistant vinyl

  • All-weather adhesive (like your coping mechanisms)

  • Professional finish (unlike your work/life balance)

  • Guaranteed to last longer than your ski town mental health

IDEAL FOR:

  • Your Subaru/home

  • The van you're "living in by choice"

  • The staff parking lot you now call "neighborhood"

  • That vehicle you drive 2 hours to work in

  • Your emotional support Toyota

Size: 5" x 3" (larger than your remaining dignity)

PAIRS WELL WITH:

  • Your collection of old resort name tags

  • That distance calculator to the nearest affordable housing

  • Your "resort town bingo" card of trauma

  • The multiple job schedules in your glovebox

  • Your "fun powder day calculator" (after gas costs)

WARNING: Side effects include:

  • Knowing nods from service industry workers

  • Spontaneous therapy sessions in lift lines

  • Unexpected bonding with other resort employees

  • Uncomfortable laughter from HR

  • Trust fund kids asking if your car really runs on trauma

Note: Sticker price does not include mountain town markup or emotional damage fees

Perfect for your mobile housing unit/commuter vehicle/last remaining asset. Show off your resort town PTSD with this brutally honest declaration of your mountain town employment status.

FEATURES:

  • Trauma-resistant vinyl

  • All-weather adhesive (like your coping mechanisms)

  • Professional finish (unlike your work/life balance)

  • Guaranteed to last longer than your ski town mental health

IDEAL FOR:

  • Your Subaru/home

  • The van you're "living in by choice"

  • The staff parking lot you now call "neighborhood"

  • That vehicle you drive 2 hours to work in

  • Your emotional support Toyota

Size: 5" x 3" (larger than your remaining dignity)

PAIRS WELL WITH:

  • Your collection of old resort name tags

  • That distance calculator to the nearest affordable housing

  • Your "resort town bingo" card of trauma

  • The multiple job schedules in your glovebox

  • Your "fun powder day calculator" (after gas costs)

WARNING: Side effects include:

  • Knowing nods from service industry workers

  • Spontaneous therapy sessions in lift lines

  • Unexpected bonding with other resort employees

  • Uncomfortable laughter from HR

  • Trust fund kids asking if your car really runs on trauma

Note: Sticker price does not include mountain town markup or emotional damage fees