HONK IF YOUR SOUL BELONGS TO VAIL RESORTS
Celebrate your spiritual surrender to corporate skiing with this darkly honest declaration of mountain town feudalism. Perfect for anyone who's traded their moral compass for an Epic Pass™.
FEATURES:
Soul-binding vinyl (like your employee contract)
Eternal adhesive (just like your commitment to Vail Resorts)
Weather-resistant (unlike your dignity)
Professionally printed (by underpaid labor)
IDEAL PLACEMENT OPTIONS:
Your vehicle/indentured housing unit
The staff locker you're not supposed to live in
Your "vintage" pre-Vail local mountain sticker collection
The back of your mandatory name tag
Size: 4" x 3" (bigger than your employee housing allocation)
PERFECT FOR:
Disgruntled lift operators
Former local business owners
Recently acquired resort employees
Anyone who says "Epic" unironically now
That person who remembers the "before times"
WARNING: May cause:
Spontaneous honking in employee parking lots
Knowing sighs from ski patrol
Confusion from Texan tourists
Uncomfortable laughter from resort management
Sudden urges to check corporate stock prices
Note: 10% of your soul will be deducted for each sticker purchased (standard Vail Resorts terms & conditions apply)
Celebrate your spiritual surrender to corporate skiing with this darkly honest declaration of mountain town feudalism. Perfect for anyone who's traded their moral compass for an Epic Pass™.
FEATURES:
Soul-binding vinyl (like your employee contract)
Eternal adhesive (just like your commitment to Vail Resorts)
Weather-resistant (unlike your dignity)
Professionally printed (by underpaid labor)
IDEAL PLACEMENT OPTIONS:
Your vehicle/indentured housing unit
The staff locker you're not supposed to live in
Your "vintage" pre-Vail local mountain sticker collection
The back of your mandatory name tag
Size: 4" x 3" (bigger than your employee housing allocation)
PERFECT FOR:
Disgruntled lift operators
Former local business owners
Recently acquired resort employees
Anyone who says "Epic" unironically now
That person who remembers the "before times"
WARNING: May cause:
Spontaneous honking in employee parking lots
Knowing sighs from ski patrol
Confusion from Texan tourists
Uncomfortable laughter from resort management
Sudden urges to check corporate stock prices
Note: 10% of your soul will be deducted for each sticker purchased (standard Vail Resorts terms & conditions apply)
Celebrate your spiritual surrender to corporate skiing with this darkly honest declaration of mountain town feudalism. Perfect for anyone who's traded their moral compass for an Epic Pass™.
FEATURES:
Soul-binding vinyl (like your employee contract)
Eternal adhesive (just like your commitment to Vail Resorts)
Weather-resistant (unlike your dignity)
Professionally printed (by underpaid labor)
IDEAL PLACEMENT OPTIONS:
Your vehicle/indentured housing unit
The staff locker you're not supposed to live in
Your "vintage" pre-Vail local mountain sticker collection
The back of your mandatory name tag
Size: 4" x 3" (bigger than your employee housing allocation)
PERFECT FOR:
Disgruntled lift operators
Former local business owners
Recently acquired resort employees
Anyone who says "Epic" unironically now
That person who remembers the "before times"
WARNING: May cause:
Spontaneous honking in employee parking lots
Knowing sighs from ski patrol
Confusion from Texan tourists
Uncomfortable laughter from resort management
Sudden urges to check corporate stock prices
Note: 10% of your soul will be deducted for each sticker purchased (standard Vail Resorts terms & conditions apply)